Here in Arizona, when people ask me where I'm from, the answer isnt that simple. I like telling people that I'm from New York here on a 11 vacation. They tell me that if I've been here that long, I am an Arizonan, not a New Yorker.
Arizonan......just the sound of it sounds like a creature from a bad horror flick. I'm still waiting for my third eye to pop out. Between the pollution, dirt, dust, lack of rain, and 1000 degree days..one has to wonder why it hasn't happened to anyone living here. And don't get me started on the color brown...OY VEY!!!
In my head, I will always be a New Yorker. My closest friends and my best best memories are from there. If there was a chance of me moving back tomorrow, I would.
This week, my family and I are going back to New York for my sister's long overdue wedding. My friend's will be able to meet my children for the first time. I will have a chance to drive around the old stomping grounds and wonder what has changed. What has changed is....... I guess I can now tell people I am from Arizona. Why? Because after this trip, that's where my family will be....and I will always be from where they are.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
What I Have > What I Don't
For the past few years, I have been the proud father of two of the most wonderful children I could imagine. Their perfect in every way....ok, not really. But what they lack, they make up with cuteness. I don't even want to think what my life might be like without them.
Today, something happened to get me thinking. I went to a co-worker's son's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Amongst all the hoopla that goes along with birthday parties in general, I saw this boy's father pick him and carry him around as if he were king for a day. And here's the thinking part.......the one thing, that no matter what I do, I will never have is a son.
Don't get me wrong, I would never want to change anything that has ever happened in my life, and I love my girls with all my heart. However, there is a special bond between a boy and his father. One, sorry to say, I didn't really have with mine. At least not how I view it.
As the girls get older, they will figure out what they like, what they don't like, what they want to try, what they don't, etc.... Since my girls were able to sit down, I have tried to make them watch sports with me, play ball with me, say Yankees stink with me. But who knows if they will in 10 years. A boy and his father play ball together, go to games together, have the same interests. If my girls love to dance, can you see me getting into a deep rooted discussion about ballet?
Dawn and I are not having anymore children, and if one of us does they'll lots of explaining to do. 15 years from now, I hope I am able to go see my girls play basketball or soccer in highschool. In all honesty, I will be just as happy going to a dance recital. They are my children, and that's my focus need to be on. So what I have is indeed greater than what I don't.
Today, something happened to get me thinking. I went to a co-worker's son's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Amongst all the hoopla that goes along with birthday parties in general, I saw this boy's father pick him and carry him around as if he were king for a day. And here's the thinking part.......the one thing, that no matter what I do, I will never have is a son.
Don't get me wrong, I would never want to change anything that has ever happened in my life, and I love my girls with all my heart. However, there is a special bond between a boy and his father. One, sorry to say, I didn't really have with mine. At least not how I view it.
As the girls get older, they will figure out what they like, what they don't like, what they want to try, what they don't, etc.... Since my girls were able to sit down, I have tried to make them watch sports with me, play ball with me, say Yankees stink with me. But who knows if they will in 10 years. A boy and his father play ball together, go to games together, have the same interests. If my girls love to dance, can you see me getting into a deep rooted discussion about ballet?
Dawn and I are not having anymore children, and if one of us does they'll lots of explaining to do. 15 years from now, I hope I am able to go see my girls play basketball or soccer in highschool. In all honesty, I will be just as happy going to a dance recital. They are my children, and that's my focus need to be on. So what I have is indeed greater than what I don't.
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