I am thankful for..........

.......my beautiful wife. Without her, I would be lost. She is the one person in my life that can honestly tell me to shut the hell up and be nice about it. I owe so much to her and there just isn't enough time to tell her all about it.

.......my daughter Jaden. My little princess, my over-acter, my first born child. Almost 4 years ago we stared at her in the hopitol through a viewing glass, wondering if we would get to hold her, watching little snot bubbles come out of her nose. She certainly gave us a scare. Today, as much as I hate answering the same question over...and over...and over....and over again...I love her.


.......my daughter Caitlyn. My future linebacker. What a pain in the ass. If there was ever a child my hard headed or stubborn. However, that's what makes here unique. It isn't everyday you could love someone so much and want to throw them through a window at the same time. But it's the smile that always makes me remember that I truly do love her.


.......my brother Corey and sister Jennifer. Haven't always had the best relationship. I'm sure we wanted to kill each other on numerous occasions. I am thankful for the fact we are talking and relating more then we probably ever have. I'm glad to say that they are as part of my life and I do love them.

.......my parents. To say things are strained when their together is an understatement. But they both handle things in their own way. And I know if I need their help, I will get it.

.......Kharli and Christian. Even though I am not their real father, I try to help out anyway I can. They don't always agree with me and vise versa, we manage the beat we can. I 'm thankful their here.

.......my New York friends. To say I'm a bit homesick is an understatement. Even though we don't talk that often, it's comfort to know that I could if needed. This past summer, I was able to introduce my children to some of you and others had already seen them. A special thanks to Andrew Jacobs (I hope he reads this). Probably the closest friend I've had in the past 20 years. Good to know that he's around.

.......my job. Not necessarily the job itself, but the fact I have one!

Looking back over the years, things have come and gone. Remembering the Thanksgivings we used to have with Sue, Arnie, Brett and Glenn. Thank goodness for videotape. The future may be just as wacky. Here's hoping everyone is thankful for what they have right now. Tomorrow.....well, Hanukkah is just around the corner.

Puzzles

Life is filled with puzzles. From the hardest calculus problem (which I would never get right) to figuring out how to work the damn DVR remote (still a work in progress).

I like to figure things out and solve problems....I blame those god forsaken psychology classes. Crosswords, word searches, almost anything except those Soduku things...can't figure them out. However, jigsaw puzzles are my favorite.

Over the years, I have probably done close to 100 of them. From underwater seascapes to Disney movie scenes to historic monuments and so on. The one question I get asked Is "Why????" My response, "Why not????" I could be watching television, reading a book, messing around on Facebook. It really does relax me....kinda the way a 40 oz. relaxes a wino.

The other day I was thinking...as all smart people should.....that I've done all these puzzles and I hardly ever keep any. I give them away to basically anyone who wants them. I did keep a few for my daughters and a chosen few for myself....but not many. So I decided to keep a record of them...for posterity purposes. So here are the only ones I still currently own.

In the future, I would like to keep more, frame a couple....but really, as sick as it sounds, I just love hearing the sound of puzzle pieces sift through my fingers. And, hopefully, out of 1000 pieces, 1 won't be missing. Maybe I should play marbles instead. I already know I've lost those.

Home

Here in Arizona, when people ask me where I'm from, the answer isnt that simple. I like telling people that I'm from New York here on a 11 vacation. They tell me that if I've been here that long, I am an Arizonan, not a New Yorker.

Arizonan......just the sound of it sounds like a creature from a bad horror flick. I'm still waiting for my third eye to pop out. Between the pollution, dirt, dust, lack of rain, and 1000 degree days..one has to wonder why it hasn't happened to anyone living here. And don't get me started on the color brown...OY VEY!!!

In my head, I will always be a New Yorker. My closest friends and my best best memories are from there. If there was a chance of me moving back tomorrow, I would.

This week, my family and I are going back to New York for my sister's long overdue wedding. My friend's will be able to meet my children for the first time. I will have a chance to drive around the old stomping grounds and wonder what has changed. What has changed is....... I guess I can now tell people I am from Arizona. Why? Because after this trip, that's where my family will be....and I will always be from where they are.

What I Have > What I Don't

For the past few years, I have been the proud father of two of the most wonderful children I could imagine. Their perfect in every way....ok, not really. But what they lack, they make up with cuteness. I don't even want to think what my life might be like without them.

Today, something happened to get me thinking. I went to a co-worker's son's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Amongst all the hoopla that goes along with birthday parties in general, I saw this boy's father pick him and carry him around as if he were king for a day. And here's the thinking part.......the one thing, that no matter what I do, I will never have is a son.

Don't get me wrong, I would never want to change anything that has ever happened in my life, and I love my girls with all my heart. However, there is a special bond between a boy and his father. One, sorry to say, I didn't really have with mine. At least not how I view it.

As the girls get older, they will figure out what they like, what they don't like, what they want to try, what they don't, etc.... Since my girls were able to sit down, I have tried to make them watch sports with me, play ball with me, say Yankees stink with me. But who knows if they will in 10 years. A boy and his father play ball together, go to games together, have the same interests. If my girls love to dance, can you see me getting into a deep rooted discussion about ballet?

Dawn and I are not having anymore children, and if one of us does they'll lots of explaining to do. 15 years from now, I hope I am able to go see my girls play basketball or soccer in highschool. In all honesty, I will be just as happy going to a dance recital. They are my children, and that's my focus need to be on. So what I have is indeed greater than what I don't.